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Tuesday, 19 April 2011

The Ballad Of Wigmore & Hollister Co. PART TWO

Hollister Co. is a story of passion, youth and love of the sea. it carries the harmony of romance, beauty, adventure and todayis the lifestyle brand for those with an insatiable lust for adventure – both on land and off.

As with slaughterhouses, the first thing that hits you is the smell.
No, it's the noise, no it's the darkness.

It's all of these things. It will be better for you to understand at once that Hollister wishes to control every step of your experience, to enter every orifice it can. The smell that engulfs you on arrival is an expertly blended version of SoCal, their premiere male cologne, intensified by a reduction in the water ratio. It is heady and woodchippy, with notes of patchouli, or something vaguely redolent of freedom. Perhaps there are lemons also.

John took a succession of steamer ships and finally settled in the Dutch East Indies in 1917. John used his trust fund to finance a rubber plantation bought from dutch businessman, Gregory Van Gilder.

The Hollister Spray Bottle remains elusive, at least in Norwich. The STORE SMELL which can, with patience and a small amount of Googling be purchased in clandestine vats over Ebay, is intense and is partnered with a deafening highly curated series of poppy pseudo-surf rock with titles like 'Something Good Can Work' and 'I Like The Girls.' The music is so loud that you must lean close to the face of the beautiful 18 year old whose job it is to greet you. She stands sentry in the 'Bettys' section, just beyond the startlingly colonial seating area at the front of the store. Furious boyfriends can sit in comfort for hours, swathed in Navajo blankets, staring into the chandelier hung with cutesy homespun lampshades. 

Once it becomes clear that you are entering the most adorable plantation house, that the lampshades were probably made by freed East Indian slaves, buoyed by their love for the Dutch colonialists that freed them from (according to Wikipedia) slavery, widow burninghead-hunting, cannibalism, piracy, and internecine wars, everything becomes easier. We're the good guys, we're the aristocrats.

I make sure to lean right into my greeter's face as I shout my question over Maroon 5. I know she is grateful for this. Her skin is impeccable, even in the near darkness.


While working the plantation, John met and fell in love with the beautiful daughter of Van Gilder, named Meta.

Flip flops are mandatory but this is fine. They're fun! Who doesn't love flip flops? His girlfriend is called Meta. Meta. This is CANDY. It is like they want semiotics students crawling all over them. I feel giddy. Our dollar is as good as any given teenager and by god, we could all look good in a flippy floral cotton/jersey dresses. It doesn't matter that it is all too short. I just won't bend. I just won't bend.

TOMORROW: "But this is for the social sciences!" --Photographing hotpants for fun and profit